S L U T or just unlucky?

calamitous

There’s this question lingering on my mind; are all men assholes, or are all men who come across me assholes?


Last year, during August, something bad happened to me. Something, that was probably my fault. No, I’ll blame myself completely. I will. After that disaster happened, I took control over my life. Got into College, made amazing friends, got good grades. Then something happened; this semester, I lost my shit. I couldn’t keep it together. And then, I decided I want to start HIJAB. Alhamdulillah, I did. And it’s going great. I love my hijab. I never thought I’d ever see this day TBH. But then, 4 days back, I did something. Let’s call my something ‘X’. Afterwards, I lost my mind.
What my question is, is that, why doesn’t any guy, and by any guy I mean ANY GUY, see me as anything but an object of physical use? Why?
May it be flirtation, or flings, or a relationship. Why?
Why don’t my relationships ever work? Is it me? Or is it not? As I’m typing this, I realize my sedatives kicked in, and I need to sleep. As I’m typing this, I realize, that my fingers know which key to press when I’m on my sedatives.
I need to know, is it me? Or is it not?
I need to know. 

Published by calamitous

Let me just be blank for a moment: brb

6 Comments

  1. I believe guys always have an ulterior motive… well most men… sometimes as women we like that attention we get and yes we get caught up sometimes…. just be aware of your boundaries with others and if they are crossing the line let them know… u are a good person and I don’t believe u are a slut either…

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    1. I love you for this. I swear. This made me smile ❤
      I have had so many relationships? And FLINGS? MAN. The guys who are the ones who’d be in a relationship or be someone’s boyfriend, even they don’t….just don’t want to have anything more than a physical relationship with me. And I’m so over physical relationships. It makes me cringe TBH. *sigh* But thank you. Thank you SO MUCH!

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